Flying Saucers

The aliens were sick of having their spaceships referred to as flying saucers. Their vehicles could warp spacetime, support life in the most inhospitable places, travel faster than light, collect energy from the void of space and defy the laws of physics. A saucer is a little plate to stop your tea from dripping.

If these aliens wanted to capture the hearts and minds of the impressionable earth-folk and ultimately rule them, they were going to have to infiltrate social media with a cunning PR campaign. When they were done, no one would even remember that there was such a thing as a teacup, let alone a flying saucer.

The first step was simple: program a sequence of light and sound that could be transmitted over the internet to wipe the minds of the impressionable little earthlings. This was a matter of routine for the advanced alien species. They sent out a photo of a cute cat that nearly everyone on earth was bound to see. It pulsated in such a way that was imperceptible, but it wiped the viewer’s mind.

The aliens were left with six-billion clean slates upon which to etch a new perception of their presence. “So, what will we have them call our vehicles?” Asked the high chancellor alien to the deputy chancellor alien. “Perhaps ‘Wonder Ships’. Or maybe ‘Warp Prisms.’ ” Another high councillor interjected “Sonic Catapults!” Eventually the aliens had decided on a name to have the humans refer to their vehicles by. It would be awesome and imposing, commanding respect and authority.

The aliens began to program their social media tools, but in doing so they noticed that the humans had already come up with their own new name organically. It wasn’t exactly imposing. Nor was it commanding of respect. In fact, it would probably have been better if the humans used the old term, because “Space Dildos” just wouldn’t do. Time to start a new social media campaign.

T

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