A Major Misunderstanding

The change room is bustling. The drag-queens are about to start a big show in Vegas. Their many muscular figures dominate the cramped room, but their movements are so graceful. A Mexican beauty grabs a pear from the fruit table. She needs a little energy before her big number. The Texan girl is concerned about her belongings which are by the fruit bowl.

“My pair of stockings is on this fruit table, and a jar of loose jewellery.” She proclaims.

The Mexican beauty, with her mouth full of pear, is shocked. She heard:

“Me parece que es disfrutable enojar a los Judios.”

“So you like to annoy the Jews, Crystal? No?”

“What are you talking about, Maria?”

“I never hear nothing so full of racismo!”

“I didn’t say anything about you being Mexican, Maria!”

“Just because my mother is a Jewish, no it means you have to be rude. The World War the Second is over for seventy years!”

“I just wanted to be clear that those stockings and jewellery are mine.”

“Oh yes? And Jewish people are thieves? No?”

“What have Jews got to do with anything?”

“Me recuerdo el Alamo!”

– – –

The show went on as planned. Maria and Crystal appeared on stage a little lopsided. Their arms and legs were sore. Their foundation was thicker than usual to cover their black eyes. Maria’s lipstick was bright red, in case her lips started bleeding from Crystal’s Herculean punch. Crystal didn’t smile much, to hide her missing tooth.

The show was a roaring success.

T

An Explanation

This story was an attempt to make a sentence from another language sound close enough to an English sentence that they could reasonably be confused. It’s a bit of a stretch but:

My pair of = me pare-

Stockings = -ce que

This fruit table = disfrutable

And a jar = enojar

of loose jewellery = a los Judios

It translates to “I think it’s enjoyable to annoy the Jews.” Quite a misunderstanding!

 

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