You Can’t Say That!

In a postmodern world, co-partner and co-partner go for an autonomous car trip through the countryside. Their child is brewing in a gestation facility in town, and it’s due for delivery at opening time on Monday. Co-partner says to co-partner pensively “ze will be the best thing to happen to us.” Ze agrees, nodding with zis eyes fixed on the beautiful landscape. Ze continues zis train of thought, “I hope they got the colour of zis eyes right. We spent so long trying to match them to my parent.”

Still gazing through the window, co-partner responds with a tiny sigh. “Don’t you think we’re missing out, bypassing natural procreation?”“We’ve already had this talk,” Ze hushed the word sex as if it were a criminal act to say it aloud.” “Sex is dirty, messy and painful. We’re doing the right thing.” Ze thought before responding thoughtfully. “My grandparent used to tell me about love. Ze said that the love between a child and the parent in which ze gestated supersedes all other emotions.” Ze scoffed at zis naivete. “Do you think we’ll ever experience that kind of love for zim?” Ze continued.

Don’t be silly. We’ve passed on out genomes, and ze will pass on zis too. We”l be grandparents, and great grandparents, and… no one can accuse US of not having contributed to the genetic diversity of humankind! This way, we can be sure we won’t have a disable child.”

The two prospective parents zoom towards the mountain and past the green fields. “I was reading that modern man was the result of a genetic mutation tens of thousands of years ago.”

Quiet!” Barks zis co-partner. “The car can hear us. And why are you reading anyway? You know that’s not allowed.”

Don’t you ever wonder what it was like to have a loving mother and a strong father?”

The door locks engage and the vehicle draws automatically to a safe and controlled stop. It takes a u-turn and heads back to town. “Now you’ve done it!” Shouts zis co-partner. The car’s entertainment screen flashes with a warning message. “Criminal inclinations detected. Suspects detained.” The destination field changes from “Picnic Area” to “Police Station.”

You know that men and women don’t exist. Now look what you’ve done.”

Birds no longer exist either, but they don’t lock us up for talking about THEM.”

Ze is quiet all the way to the station, and ze resumes looking out the window. It’s going to be a long week.



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