It’s as good a time as any to pull over when the dog’s barking, the kids are crying and the wife is being passive aggressive. It’s time for dad to whip up some of his “Rocky Road, Road Trip, Trippy Chocolate.” He pulls the station wagon into the grass on the side of the highway … Continue reading Trains and Chocolate
The Basilica of San Vitale is the pinnacle of Byzantine architecture. Its golden mosaics are thought to be the finest in the world. The building has stood for over a millennium and its golden tiles... ...they’re not the ones you see here. These have existed since 1961 and they occupy the public consciousness as tacky, … Continue reading Golden Tiles
Dad and his boy are sitting at a picnic table by the beach on a sunny afternoon. “Yuck! This muffin has orange peels in it.” Dad turns to his son and edifies him. “But orange peel has limonene and linalool.” Says Dad in a comical voice. “Are you telling me you don’t like limonene and … Continue reading When Life Gives You Oranges
A man sits at his battered piano, in a little church, on a weathered hill top, overlooking the sea. The church has a Crucifix carved into one pediment, a Star of David in another and a Star and Crescent in another. There’s a Hindu Om, a Druid Triple Spiral, a Wheel of Dharma and an … Continue reading The Fruit Trees
Green and brown: they’re good colours to see in a forest. They’re not so good in a waterway. There’s a 1,800 megalitre sediment containment lake which forms the scenic foreground of the town centre. It’s supposed to be populated with sailboats and crystalline blue, reflective water. Instead it looks like there’s an old, seventies throw … Continue reading The Dam Buster
“Caution: Warning sign ahead” reads a street sign. “Beware trip hazards” reads a different sign in the middle of the footpath. “Don’t drive distracted” reads yet another sign which shares a pole with a sign that reads “hazards on road.” The sign-writers in this town must be rich. There’s a sign for everything! Moreover, the … Continue reading Safety First
“What’s on for tonight?” Shouts the head cattle-hand. He says it loud enough for all the other men to hear. The boss pricks up his ears, fearing there’s going to be trouble. “White caviar and French kidney!” Comes a holler from behind the chuck wagon. The cook produces a steaming pot and starts serving its … Continue reading Rice ‘n’ Beans
As the landscaper lays paving bricks in a public park, many onlookers glance over to admire his handiwork. He’s been laying paths for decades and he’s a true master of his trade. A lawyer passes by. “You should be using a stretcher bond. There’s less chance chance of trip hazards.” An engineer makes comment. “Why … Continue reading The Landscaper
Two old friends cross paths at a coffee shop. They squawk at each other. Marigold, darling!” “Oh, June, sweetheart!” “How are the children?” They sit at an empty table and the competition is on. “My son lives on the seventeenth floor of the tallest building in town.” “Well, my daughter just moved into the eighteenth … Continue reading The Competition
The change room is bustling. The drag-queens are about to start a big show in Vegas. Their many muscular figures dominate the cramped room, but their movements are so graceful. A Mexican beauty grabs a pear from the fruit table. She needs a little energy before her big number. The Texan girl is concerned about … Continue reading A Major Misunderstanding
