The Alien

I am alien from Xenothropia-7 and I come visit your planet Gorgohammer-16. I understanding that you call it “Earth”. We too have series of seventeen planets known as “Earth”, but they in another galactic cluster. Nothing like your little blue planet.

To prepare for visit, I study “Interplanetary Diplomacy 101.” Teacher tell me many things. Teacher tell me humans are liking animals. Teacher tell me talk about animals and humans are liking me.

Teacher say humans are liking furry animals. Furry animals are dog, kangaroo, cow, cat. Teacher say humans are liking animals with big eye. Big eye animals are dog, kangaroo, cow, cat. Teacher also say humans are liking animals with warm blood. Warm blood animals are dog, kangaroo, cow, cat.

One day I meet human and give animal as gift. It was furry. Human did not like. Human say yes, it furry, but still no liking. I make another mistake: animal have too many eyes. I was think humans liking many eyes but I remember now, humans liking big eyes. Eight eyes too many. Human say most humans no liking spider.

I say “but what about warm blood?” I swat spider with hand. Blood not warm. I understand now. Humans no liking spiders. Humans confuse me. I go back to Xenothropia-7 now. No animals on Xenothropia-7. Also, no humans.

T.